Sometimes we all need a getaway for a different perspective whether we are working a 9-5 job or alone traveling the world meeting other nomads, artists and kindred spirits. After a transformative and expansive year in Spain, I felt that I needed grounding + healing with the ones who truly know me deep down to my bones. The ones who see through all my masks and layers. Two of my best friends and I headed to the otherworldly landscape of Joshua Tree, painted with Yucca plants and desert sand stretching for miles to feel + inhale + digest a bit of it’s magic.
We rented a vintage French artists loft in a secluded desert oasis. It felt as if we were on another planet. Sage + plant medicine + tarot + Boochcraft + immense amounts of water + glitter and we were completely immersed in our elements. The home was called “The Now” and that was the first of many signs we received to truly live in the present moment. To slow down and not let our experiences pass us by, surrendering to the perfection of the present moment. We so often rush things that never need to be rushed.
We were greeted by Mate, a photographer from Budapest who showed us our room. Fluffy white pillows atop an angelic cream-colored bed, and we were in heaven. We got lost in reverie and were floating on an island of clouds. The walls of the entire home were accentuated with murals and paintings from artists who had stayed before. The energy vibrated on a high frequency with a lot of originality + inspiration + sensuality. The owner had left a selection of vintage clothing and vinyl for us to play around with & purchase if we fell in love with anything that we wanted to bring home. Although we were sharing the space with others guests, the only other person we saw in and out was Mate, and it felt like a harmonious collective community.
The deck outside that had a low-hanging crochet hammock and macabre plant holder became our sacred space for opening up and healing. As the sun infiltrated our skin with its knowledge and power, we felt lighter and softer in the arid heat. The magic was flowing through our limbs, urging us to express our bodies through movement. Child-like and curious yet mature and intuitive, our bodies were craving a fluid journey through dance. With fairy dust sprinkled on our faces in crescent-moon shapes we felt ethereal. We ran towards the warm, gentle roseate light of sunset admiring the inner goddesses and divine feminine within each other. Sweet bunnies were hopping through the dried vegetation into shrubs and bushes. Abundance, comfort, vulnerability. We were completely and undeniably at peace.
Being in Joshua Tree anytime during summer feels as if you are in a outdoor sweat lodge. Something about the heat is exhausting yet simultaneously cleansing. Sweat + water + tears + salt. Although I was in a blissful state, there was so much from the past that I needed to let go. Stemmed from resentment rooted in miscommunication. We have all masqueraded as someone who we are not and hid behind those veils. Sometimes we may even try to hide from the people closest to us, because we still fear judgement. It could be that we are hiding from ourselves as well. It is daunting to tell someone who is a reflection of you the truth, because they act as a mirror for you to truly see yourself. I was afraid to see how selfish I had been, how much I had suppressed and how much I had doubted myself, which translated into doubting the ones I loved most. Letting go didn’t mean getting rid of those parts of myself, the shadow, the darkness. It meant melding it with my other parts, the selfless, the honest, the resilient and being authentic with those around me.
Once you see life as art – the act of living breathing connecting dreaming sharing loving you realize that they aren’t any mistakes or wrongdoings. It’s all a part of this beautiful cosmic mess we are in together. We are concurrently the painters and the masterpiece. The alchemists and the elements, constantly transmuting energy. The deserts, oceans, forests, and mountains.
I let myself be consumed by the stars. They ensorcelled me. Feeling small, yet vast at the same time. Minimizing my ego until it ceased to exist for a moment. I fully surrendered and gave up the fight against myself – instead of being magnetically pulled in two opposite directions, I rested somewhere in between the middle.
I saw myself again for the first time in a long time, in the ripples of the Milky Way. Nature whispered to me in the silence. I listened and allowed myself to truly hear her. I realized that I must utilize my gift to speak, to write, and to share and ignite the spark within others to express, to heal, and to love. Re-connect in a disconnected world. It’s easy to get lost in the process of this endless, life-long journey – but once we let go of the idea of reaching our own destination we will discover the unwavering love and light within each other that seamlessly connects us all.